I received an email from a mom this morning after she participated in my free telelclass. I thought her question about her kid jumping on the bed was a good one, and one that some of you may have, so I asked her permission to share it with you, and hopefully everyone will get some ideas. Here is her email:
“Thank you for your free seminar today, I really found it interesting and I would really like to participate in your 15 week class…”
I did have one question regarding the redirection and repetition. I have a little boy, Robert, who is almost three and in the evenings (Grandpa lives with us) when Grandpa sits down after dinner in the living room to watch TV, Robert will run in and stand or start jumping on the sofa. Grandpa tells him, in a firm voice, to stop jumping or sit down and, hearing this, I usually go in and remove him from the sofa and tell him that we don’t jump or stand on the sofa. He thinks it is a game and runs back in and jumps on the sofa and this goes on until Grandpa gets annoyed and I have to help Robert find another way to entertain himself (ie toy, craft, etc). Usually that means I have to stop clearing the table and doing dishes, etc. On occasion it also happens during the day when Grandpa is not there so I am not sure if it is just to get his attention or to get my attention, or both.
I usually remove him from the living room area each time, but should I be using this time to correct him by having/showing him to sit down on the sofa each time we repeat the repetition exercise? Also is it okay that I am the one to address the problem because Grandpa will not have the patience for possible “47” times repetition exercise.
When I read this question, I immediately thought of my workshop entitled, “Tell Them What Do Do, Not What To Don’t”. You can listen to a 3-minute Pep Talk where I explain this idea. So, in answer to your question, Kimberly, yes you can use the tool “respond like a broken record” and use the time you would otherwise spend distracting him to train him. Remember the tips I gave you in the teleclass to get this to work… you must have the time to complete however many repititions it takes the first time you try it, other wise, your little guy will learn how long he has to push you before you break, rather than that you are consistent. I would listen to the Pep Talk forst, then come up with your idea to respond like a broken record. I like that you have been distracting him with other things, so perhaps you can incorporate that idea into your planned response.
The bad news is that if grandpa is unable or unwilling to do this, your son may continue to “test” him. I would suggest telling grandpa what you are going to try, and ask for his support by allowing you to do it without criticism. Perhaps when he sees the results, he will be inspired and willing to come up with his own version of “responding like a broken record” from which your son can learn. Please let me know how it goes!
If you try this idea, and it works, please post your success story here. If it DOESN’T work, please also post here and let’s trouble shoot another response!
Love and Hugs,