What To Do About Kid Jumping on the Bed

I received an email from a mom this morning after she participated in my free telelclass.  I thought her question about her kid jumping on the bed was a good one, and one that some of you may have, so I asked her permission to share it with you, and hopefully everyone will get some ideas.  Here is her email:

“Thank you for your free seminar today, I really found it interesting and I would really like to participate in your 15 week class…”

I did have one question regarding the redirection and repetition. I have a little boy, Robert, who is almost three and in the evenings (Grandpa lives with us) when Grandpa sits down after dinner in the living room to watch TV, Robert will run in and stand or start jumping on the sofa. Grandpa tells him, in a firm voice, to stop jumping or sit down and, hearing this, I usually go in and remove him from the sofa and tell him that we don’t jump or stand on the sofa. He thinks it is a game and runs back in and jumps on the sofa and this goes on until Grandpa gets annoyed and I have to help Robert find another way to entertain himself (ie toy, craft, etc). Usually that means I have to stop clearing the table and doing dishes, etc. On occasion it also happens during the day when Grandpa is not there so I am not sure if it is just to get his attention or to get my attention, or both.

I usually remove him from the living room area each time, but should I be using this time to correct him by having/showing him to sit down on the sofa each time we repeat the repetition exercise? Also is it okay that I am the one to address the problem because Grandpa will not have the patience for possible “47” times repetition exercise.

Thanks!
Kimberley

When I read this question, I immediately thought of my workshop entitled, “Tell Them What Do Do, Not What To Don’t”.  You can listen to a 3-minute Pep Talk where I explain this idea.  So, in answer to your question, Kimberly, yes you can use the tool “respond like a broken record” and use the time you would otherwise spend distracting him to train him.  Remember the tips I gave you in the teleclass to get this to work… you must have the time to complete however many repititions it takes the first time you try it, other wise, your little guy will learn how long he has to push you before you break, rather than that you are consistent.  I would listen to the Pep Talk forst, then come up with your idea to respond like a broken record.  I like that you have been distracting him with other things, so perhaps you can incorporate that idea into your planned response.

The bad news is that if grandpa is unable or unwilling to do this, your son may continue to “test” him.  I would suggest telling grandpa what you are going to try, and ask for his support by allowing you to do it without criticism.  Perhaps when he sees the results, he will be inspired and willing to come up with his own version of “responding like a broken record” from which your son can learn.  Please let me know how it goes!

If you try this idea, and it works, please post your success story here.  If it DOESN’T work, please also post here and let’s trouble shoot another response!

Happy Parenting!

Love and Hugs,

Deb

Do you need better attendance at your parent education programs? I split my time between So. California and Louisville, KY. If you are interested in parenting classes & workshops in a 3 hour radius of either, there are no travel fees. Please contact me for topics & rates. I love to travel & have an 8-week proposal for parenting workshops, intensive classes & instructor training in your area of the world. Please email me for details.

10 Comments

  1. Char Says Reply

    Hey Debbie – What a great Pep Talk – “Tell them what you want them to do not what you don’t want them to do”. I took your class last spring and I remember when we went over this tool (form of communicating) and it was so helpful to hear it reiterated again! My older son (10) often gets my younger son( 22months) all “jacked up”. I often hear myself say, “Drew, stop getting Luke all excited!” And of course the play becomes even wilder. Then my husband gets exasperated and he yells the same thing at Drew. Then Drew gets mad at us and feels discouraged by our yelling at him because he was just trying to help entertain the baby. Soooo now I will say, “Drew, great job entertaining Luke, try showing him … how to move his trains around the train track.”- or something – I will think about some calmer activities he would have fun doing with his baby brother!

  2. Lady J Says Reply

    Spot on Pep Talk! I’m going to bookmark that link.

    I have a little lady who is 2.5 yrs old. I’m going to be making a list of positive redirections. I’ve been saying “don’t pull the kitty’s ears,” or “don’t jump on …(bed/couch/floor/pillow/cat/big brother/me/everything!)” While I may not get loud, (I learned that from one of your class series,) I remained calm and “broken record,” but I had forgotten the leave out the “don’t.” Yes, I needed this Pep Talk. Thank you Debbie!

  3. Sharon Ballantine, Life Coach Says Reply

    Telling other people, kids and adults, what we want and expect from them, as opposed to what we do not want–and may secretly expect from them–is a great tool.

    Since this is a specific behavior and pattern, come up with a list of alternative activities for your child.

    Check in with your Internal Guidance System for some ideas for both Robert and Grandpa. You may have a wonderful insights. It might be that Robert wants attention, or it could be that he is overly tired, or eating something that doesn’t agree with him, or he’s been quiet all day and needs to expend some energy…be open to learning what is the real issue and your IGS will help send your inspiration on what steps to take to correct the situation.

    • Jodi Says

      Where did this child get the idea from day 1 that climbing/jumping on furniture was in any way appropriate?? If it takes 100 times of telling them no and walking across the room to removing them from the situation until they learn, that’s what ‘successful parenting’ is. its YOUR job. You, as a parent, are doing your child a huge disservice by failing to teach them to respect and take care of things — most especially when they are a guest in someone else’s home. There are behaviors okay for inside and jumping, running and climbing are for outside. Getting a mini trampoline is enabling inappropriate behavior and a parent cop-out and doesn’t require the heavy lifting it takes to teach a child civilized indoor behavior. Successful parenting is about setting boundaries and teaching manners, and love them unconditionally—and I promise they will love you back even if you make them mad. It doesn’t matter if they like jumping inside all over your house, it’s a matter of good parenting and teaching appropriate behavior…unless of course, the parents are uncivilized adults who also roughhouse, jump on and destroy $1000 sofas and walk on $500 coffee tables at home and anyone they visit and think it’s okay.

  4. Mamie Says Reply

    Maybe I’m a little simplistic, but what came to my mind when you said “Tell them what to DO not what to Don’t” in this situation was just, “Robert.” Get eye contact and stop the bod… “IF you want to sit on the couch by Grandpa, that’s fine.” Help him sit and then get closer, “BUT STOP yourself from jumping on the couch.”

    I bet he’s excited about a lot of things at 3 years old. Grandpa’s are usually high on the list.

    What about get AHEAD of it? Have him doing a quiet project that he can SHOW Grandpa when he gets home?

    If it’s messy, he can do it at the table and as you clean up so does he, and make sure he gets all kinds of kudos for cleaning up. Our kids LOVE Kinetic Sand – it’s a mess, but honestly I play with it too. Just build stuff up and squish it down.

  5. Stefani Says Reply

    Most of what’s been written is not necessary. Children should not be jumping on furniture plain and simple. They should not be jumping on beds. For one it will ruin the bed and break down the base of it. Kids jumping on couches will break down the base of it too. Jumping on the beds is dangerous because the child could lose balance when they spring back up from the bounce on the bed and hit the floor or some other piece of furniture in the room. I don’t think it’s cure or funny. I feel the same about shoes on the couch or bed. Television shows people with shoes on the couch as if the bottom of the shows haven’t walked on the dirty streets picking up filth.

  6. Larry Dunn Says Reply

    This brings back great memories as a kid i jumped on beds from the age of 3 till i was 12

  7. Tiffany Says Reply

    Great advice ☺ I needed this link 13 years ago lol

  8. Vics Says Reply

    Kids love to jump. My kids too and guess what? I just buy them a trampoline so they are jumping, having fun and getting health benefits too.

  9. john scott Says Reply

    Please buy the mini trampoline for children 1, they will have fun and much safer, let get more information here https://www.topsporthome.com

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