Kids Fighting in Car – Solved!

Kids Fighting Solved

Dona was having lots of battles over squabbling, kids fighting and out of control behavior while driving in the car. The six foster children, ages 2-7 would behave in a very distracting manner and mom was having no success with asking, telling and nagging. In the parenting class she was inspired to try something different. Now when the kids get out of control, she calmly pulls over to the side of the road and shuts the ignition off. She waits with a smile on her face and no words for the kids fighting to stop.  Every time, the children calm quickly. AND mom feels much better at keeping her cool while redirecting the children to behave more cooperatively. Hooray, Dona!

Dona Perry – RCB participant, Camarillo, CA


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  1. laquetta Says Reply

    I believe I would have handled the situation differnt. I would have pulled over and explained to them that we could wreck or anything while they are playing and im driving. I would probably out them on their knees for 15 mins and remind them about what they did.

    • Deborah Godfrey Says

      I teach how to discipline without using punishment. Punishment has many side effects, including eroding our relationship with our kids so we lose influence over them. Better to discipline with love rather than fear.

  2. Deidra Says Reply

    If I pulled the car over every time my kids fought I’d never make it to our destination and forget it if I plan on being on time!

  3. Hillary Says Reply

    They already know that what they are doing is wrong. I cant just keep pulling over every time they start the noise. I bet once she starts moving again, they will continue. There must be another way out.

    • Deborah Godfrey Says

      This is exactly the point of pulling over. Once they understand you are serious and consistent, they actually behave better not worse. You can listen to my 4-minute Pep Talk on what to do when you’re driving and they’re fighting.

  4. 4 Tips for Solving Backseat Arguments - Pearson Ford Blog Says Reply

    […] you are getting distracted, and since driving while distracted is incredibly dangerous, you will be pulling over and waiting on them to sort it out. This technique works best when the destination is somewhere the […]

  5. Tess Says Reply

    I’m concerned about what happens to the child getting whacked whilst you are trying to pull over. I had 3 incidences of this while driving on motorways when I couldn’t pull
    Over. Luckily not driving too fast. I unfortunately have the instinct to grab my 10 yr old who was laying into my 7 yr old. I grabbed him hard and with newly long fingernails and managed to scrape his skin quite badly. I felt awful but was furious that they would behave so dangerously when I have to concentrate on driving on a dangerous motorway. I need to restrain my self but I find it hard to effectively sit there and let him attack his little brother

  6. Sephora C. Says Reply

    I tried so many things to stop backseat fights of my kids. Failed terribly. I pull over my car every time they start arguments. Then I try to make them understand about the importance of concentration while driving. Apparently they don’t give a sh*t. That’s why I have to UBER a lot.

  7. Amy G Says Reply

    While I have never tried this method of pulling the car over when my children were fighting, I can say that I would pick my battles of when I wanted to intervene, and I do agree that silence can be powerful. There were times that I could not be silent, but as time went by, I chose which fights were appropriate to simply ignore by being silent. Many times it worked!

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