Are your expectations for your child too high or too low? Expectations that are too high make a child feel like he is a constant failure. The child will either give up, or put so much pressure on himself that he becomes sick, afraid and stressed. The hormones released in children under stress block their ability to learn. Expectations that are too low make him feel you have no faith in him and wipe out his feelings of value. It is important for parents to maintain balanced expectations of children based on their family's values and the child's ability. Here are some ways to show your child you believe in him:
Be willing to wait to allow your child to figure out a problem, instead of rushing in with all your adult wisdom to solve it.
Avoid an impatient tone when your child is learning; remember learning takes repetition and children cannot learn under stress.
Get close and use a touch. Place your hand on his shoulder, back or knee. A loving touch calms children and relieves stress.
Say or silently affirm that he can do it. Use words that convey your belief, "You have such a creative mind, I know you can do it."
Suggest he visualize the desired result. Ask him what he would like to have happen, and help him make a picture of it in his head.
"My parents were constantly affirming me in everything I did. Late at night I'd wake up and hear my mother talking over my bed saying, "You're going to do great on this test. You can do anything you want."
-Stephen Covey
