8 Ways Discipline and Punishment are Not the Same

Discipline is used to teach and guide children.

Punishment is used for the purposes of controlling and retribution.

 

Young children do not commit crimes. So their mistakes call for a corrective disciplinary response. And not "making them pay".

 

A study on the moral development of children found that:

 

When children have a fear of punishment. Then they tend to have the following vs. the children who are not punished.:

  • have less guilt
  • were less willing to accept responsibility
  • were less resistant to temptation
  • had fewer internal controls

Punishment interferes with the development of the child's internal controls.

 

Punishment does this by teaching a child that it is someone else's responsibility to control her. And then this authority decides what behavior is "bad" and what the consequences will be. So, the child may then conclude that it is OK to misbehave if she can avoid getting caught. Or if she is willing to accept the consequences.

 

Discipline teaches children why a particular misbehavior is bad.

 

And when they learn that is it because it violates the social order, it promotes the development of internal controls within the child.

 

A 1985 study shows a correlation between corporal punishment and stealing, truancy, aggression, hostility, lying, depression and low self-esteem.

 

Punishment causes children to focus their attention and anger toward an "unfair" adult rather than on learning to be responsible for their own actions.

 

Violence perpetuates violence. In a landmark study, 41% of parents believed that a child should be spanked for hitting. 😢

 

Punishment validates fear, pain, intimidation and violence as acceptable methods of resolving conflict.

 

Corporal punishment denies children equal protection under the law. The rules of our society say you should hit children but may not hit another adult. Sweden and over 50 other countries have outlawed spanking children.

 

Physical punishment can escalate into battering a child. And this can result in permanent physical, mental, spiritual or emotional harm. It also confuses the the child about love and violence. By teaching a child that violence can be an expression of love.

 

Punishment creates a final solution with the adult acting as judge, jury and executioner.

 

Discipline creates dialogue and communication with the adult acting as teacher.

 

Discipline and punishment are not the same!  Learn more than 100 ways to discipline your child, instead of punishing your child.  Join me by becoming a lifetime member of Positive Parenting.