Can I Instill Patience in my Toddler

by | Last updated Mar 2, 2020 | Communication, Positive Parenting, Setting Limits | 0 comments

How to Instill Patience in a Toddler (or any age)

by Debbie Godfrey | Track 4: Redirecting The Goal of Attention

A parent recently asked me, "How do I instill patience in my toddler?"

So I decided to share Track 4 off of my Dial-A-Discipline MP3 for ideas that can help you instill patience in your Toddler.

In this 10 minute audio you will learn the 4 steps to redirect the mistaken goal of attention.  Because this is the goal that children are in when they are interrupting you. Or trying to keep you busy with you or just bugging you for no other apparent reason.  So the feeling you have is a feeling of being annoyed and frustrated. This is vs. feeling challenged or provoked which would be the goal of power.

The 4 steps for you to redirect the mistaken goal of attention are:

  1. Avoid eye contact with your child
  2. Do not talk to your child
  3. Non-verbally show your child love
  4. Act immediately as soon as your child interrupts or annoys you.

Using these 4 steps will change your child's mistaken belief about what he has to do to feel loved.

FROM:

"If I don't keep you busy with me then I'm not loved"

TO:

"I don't need to interrupt you in order to feel loved"

Definitely be sure to listen to the last minute of the audio where I talk about setting a temporary limit.  Because this idea is equally as important to help a toddler learn patience and that other family members have needs as well.

What does it look like to set a temporary limit?

For example, when your child interrupts you, say, "What you have to say or what you have to show me is REALLY important and I want to be listening at 100%.  I need 10 minutes to finish writing this paragraph (or this phone call, or email, etc...) then I will be with you at 100%".

And make sure you are with your child in 10 minutes or less, even if your child cannot tell time yet, no cheating!

Why is this important? Because you build credibility and trust with your child. If you do not keep your word, your child will not stop bugging you.  Instead your child learns that you keep your word and are with him in 10 minutes. Then he will be most likely to be patient and wait quietly until you are finished.

If you would like to learn more about attention and all the mistaken goals, please review the information about my Positive Parenting Teleclass.  In this class I cover everything you need to know about behavior and discipline in parenting your toddler, school age, and teenage children.

Please enjoy this MP3 ad please post any questions you have below.

Happy Parenting!

Would you like to schedule a workshop in your neighborhood?  Please contact Debbie at 805-648-6846 or email debbie@positiveparenting.com to discuss.